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How can I help?

Unfortunately, domestic abuse is more common than people often think. We know that there are over 2 million victims of domestic abuse every year in the UK, and that approximately 1 in 5 people will experience domestic abuse in their adult lifetime [1].

 

With that being said, you will almost certainly come into contact with someone in an abusive relationship in your lifetime. The good news is that there are lots of things that you can do to help.

 

If you have concerns about someone you know, or someone comes to you for support; its only natural that your first thought will be "How can I help?"

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For further information click the links below or download: 

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What can I say? 

There are many reasons someone might be reluctant to speak out if they are being controlled, scared or hurt by their partner or family member. For example, they might blame themselves, they might be afraid to bring shame on their community or family, they might not recognise what is happening as abuse, or they might still love their abuser and want to protect them. Perhaps most importantly, they might be scared of their abuser and the consequences for them and their children.

 

These are just some of the things that might prevent the person you're worried about from sharing what’s happening, it also might mean if you have concerns and try to talk to them about it, they might deflect your support and deny that anything is wrong.  

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If someone does share their experiences with you, how you respond can make a huge difference. We know that many people have to speak out multiple times before they get a supportive response. Once someone has received a supportive response they are more likely to speak out again, and they might go on to get more support elsewhere. 

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We want the first response to always be a supportive one. Here are some tips on how to respond if someone does open up to you: 

Be patient

Usually it takes those who experience domestic abuse several years to seek help. This means patience is key when expressing your concerns. Don't take it personally if they don’t immediately confide in you, make sure they know you are always there if they do need you, and trust that when they can, they will speak up.

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If you want to know more about what you can say to support the person you're worried about, follow the link to download our toolkit:

How can I help?
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