10 signs your friend is in a toxic relationship!
- Sophie Ellingworth
- Jul 26, 2024
- 3 min read
Updated: Dec 24, 2024
In today's social media driven world, buzzwords like ‘toxic relationships’ constantly appear on our feeds. We believe there is no such thing as a ‘toxic relationship’ - if you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, the question that we should ask is “is my friend in an abusive relationship?”
Here are 10 signs to look out if you are worried about someone else’s relationship:
1. The partner is jealous of your friend spending time with others
Domestic abuse thrives in isolation so if your friends’ partner can’t stand the thought of them having family and friends to support them, this could be a sign of controlling behaviour.
2. Your friend isn’t themselves around their partner
You may notice a sudden change in appearance or behavior, this could be because their partner is telling them what to wear or how to act.
3. Your friend always make excuses for their partners behaviour
Do you often hear excuses like “they’re just stressed from work” or “they always get like this when they drink” often victims of domestic abuse defend their partners actions out of fear of consequences or being judged.
4. Your friends’ partner is always undermining them
Abusive partners often strip away a victim’s self-esteem. Look out for comments on their appearance like “Why are you wearing so much makeup” or calling them a ‘psycho’ when they react to their behavior.
5. Having their partner constantly checking where they are and who they are with
Whilst messages on your phone isn’t an immediate red flag, this could be an opportunity to ask, “you’ve been on your phone a lot, is everything okay?”
6. Making inappropriate jokes, often at the expense of your friend
You may notice your friends’ partner making inappropriate jokes around or about your friends, this could be to make them feel uncomfortable and may stop them from wanting to socialise, leading to isolation.
7. Your friend hides purchases from their partner
Whilst asking you not to tell their partner about a recent purchase may seem trivial there could be other reasons behind this, they may not have access to their own money or have to ‘ask permission’ for new purchases which are all indicators of economic abuse.
8. You don’t see your friend as often since they got into a new relationship
It’s not uncommon to get into a new relationship and want to spend time together, however, if your friend always joined for Friday drinks and suddenly, they’re always busy, this could mean they are becoming isolated. Make sure to keep in touch with your friends, even if they stop coming out.
9. Your friend’s partner show up to events, even when they haven’t been invited
Constantly showing up when uninvited or only ever seeing your friend with their partner. This shows signs of fixated and obsessive behaviors, which are abusive.
10. There’s a clear imbalance of power
No relationship is perfectly balanced, however if one person clearly has more power in the relationship, this could be a red flag and an opportunity to check in with your friend
It can be really difficult to determine if a relationship is abusive, but what is important is that we educate ourselves to spot the signs and respond helpfully. You can find more information regarding domestic abuse and how to support here: How can I help? | Findaway (wefindaway.org.uk)
Alternatively, if you have recognised some of these red flags and are unsure what to do, you can call our confidential phoneline for a chat and we can discuss your situation anonymously and provide you with options and support.
