Is my sister in an abusive relationship?
It can be difficult to recognise when someone you care about is experiencing abuse. Abuse isn't always physical, and it doesn't always look the way you might expect it to.
If you are worried about your sister, you may find yourself second guessing whether what you are noticing is domestic abuse. Recognising patterns of controlling, threatening and abusive behaviour is an important firs step.
Here are some signs that may indicate your sister is experiencing domestic abuse:
Their partner controls who they see and what they do
Have you noticed your sister's partner discouraging her from seeing family and friends? or constantly demand to know who they are with and where they are?
They may also monitor your sister's phone calls, messages and social media. This is controlling behaviour, and can be a sign of domestic abuse.
They seem more isolated since the start of the relationship
Have you noticed that your sister is going out less often? They may cancel plans repeatedly, or respond to your messages less often. Isolation is a common tactic used in domestic abuse. If you notice this is becoming a common occurrence, it may indicate that abuse is happening.
They have less control over their money
Have you noticed that your sister seems to be struggling financially since the relationship began? This is a control tactic often seen in abusive relationships. If you notice that your sister is asking to borrow money more frequently or seems stressed about her finances, it may be a sign of domestic abuse.
Their behaviour has changed
You may have noticed that your sister is frequently anxious, nervous, or lacking confidence. She may have stopped doing things she used to enjoy or seem constantly concerned about keeping their partner happy.
You may only see glimpses of what’s happening, but if your gut is telling you something is wrong, you should trust it. Family members are often the first people to recognise an abusive relationship.
You do not have to go through this alone, you can seek support for yourself. You can call our confidential phone line on 0300 140 0061 or speak to us via our online webchat, and we can discuss your situation anonymously and talk through options and support.
